Another Niche in the Road

So I exploded. I was hurt and upset. Something that apparently is happening all too often.

And yet I have to wonder, if he stopped hurting me, wouldn't that in turn make me feel upset less often?

And he broached upon that subject again, and I know I've thought the same way a few times, when things didn't seem to be going so good.

So as Im reading about one, it's calmed me down again. And as I start being calmed down, she of course has to say something to piss me off again. Maybe it's because I am more like her than I think.

Because when she's in one mood, she bitches and moans about everything and makes things up to satiate that feeling of bitchiness.

Perhaps I just need a little more control. And again, once I've read more, it's calmed me down.

So instead of being pissy at this situation, she of course makes me pissy at hers.

Because she's just like me, and god almighty I hope that I don't end up like that. It's sickening. It's ugly. It's decietful and it's ego-centric. In other words, she's a flat out bitch and I just want her to shut the god damn fuck up.

And I never want to be like her. Ever. Because I'd always just make myself miserable, thinking people are something they're not and being disapointed when I find out they dont always live up to my expectations.

Because I have some pre-concieved notion of who a person is, and it hurts when they don't follow that. But that's my fault, not theirs. So maybe I just need to breathe a little bit, and focus more on fixing myself. Let things happen as they happen, and just make sure I'm happy.

I'm educated. I know a good amount of how and what people think. So letting other people make me miserable, and thus making those I care about miserable - now, that just won't do. So I'll be who I want to be. Right. And I'll just let what comes, come.