Staring At What Could Be Me

I've come up with another story. Big surprise. Wonder if I'll actually write the whole thing this time? Considering I've only got the basic outline and a few characters in my head so far, Im guna bet on No. But I've gotten pretty darn close with some of my other stories, so there's always a chance that eventually I'll like one enough to see it through.

Mom's grilling our "Easter Dinner" already, so I guess I'll be eating my only meal of the day at about 2ish. Wonder how I'll spend the rest of my day? Prolly won't get a chance to see Sam, but I'll live. I kind of wanna go back to school to get my phone charger, however, I really don't have enough to afford the gas to travel back to school if I'm going back to Lewisburg on Monday. So I suppose I could spend a few more hours at home, not much to do at an abandoned college campus anyway.

Spent a good portion of the day drawing, all but one sucked, but the more and more I stare at it the more and more I realize who the people in the picture resemble. There goes my crazy hopelessly romantic imagination again.

Because I really do wish I was an anime character. At the very least, I could read the plot summary and know how my story ends.

I thought I was over this, worrying about my future and all, it seems so silly. Whatever happens will happen, and as long as I guide it in the direction I want it to go, I know I'll be fine.

But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to have some things be certain.

Because I used to say I could see a few specific people being in my future, and barely any of them are still there. Too much changes over too short a time period. It's not fair.

Maybe eventually I'll learn to be normal. But for now, I'll still ponder life mysteries until it keeps me up all hours of the night so I sleep away entire days.

If I decide to create myself again, is that changing myself? Is there even a me to find?

I sometimes wish there was another me, just so I could ask her what her opinion about me is. See, anime character again. I'd have a character bio. That would make things so much easier.

This is me, whoever that is, and I have so many ideas of who I could be, but I dont know which one is real or even which is ideal.

Now Im rhyming. Ew. But life does seem to have an underlying rythm. Wonder if I can jot it down and follow through?