Remember How the Coffee Made Us Shake?

Once again, taking a break from typing this guy's journal to type my own. So glad that I prefer to go virtual - if I ever feel like trying to get a book published, all I have to do is copy paste. However, it would be so much easier if I could actually read his damn handwriting.

I just realized that I have no idea where the bird is, and the door is open. Uh-oh. Keira's cuddled at the food of the bed however, such a sweetheart. Hope was in here a bit before, I have cat hair all over my shirt to prove it, and I caught a glimpse of the other cat as well (Calli?) but she decided not to go past the threshold.

And again, I am amazed at how calm I can be considering all my situations. Homeless. Couch surfing. Poor. Lonely. Confused. And my feet are still cold. But at least I've got clothes and a place to stay for a while, especially because this place offers a great cuddle buddy =)

Oie. So. Yeah. I wonder really. What exactly is this. What exactly do I even want it to be?

Sexually compatible. Check. Similar interests. Check. Loves to cuddle. Check. Interesting. Check. Caring. Check. But I already knew all of that, and it seems to lose all sorts of emotion when you write it out as a list like that. Blah.

Yet still. One should never marry a case study.

A thought struck me the other day, why is it that people are always in want of someone like them? It was on both an episode of House as well as an episode of Bones. Do we as humans really have such a strong longing to be understood? As much as everyone seems to have this want to stand out and be famous, we always seem to compare what we have and are to other's haves and wants.

I guess we all just want to have someone to identify with. Someone who gets us.

And everyone hates to be alone.

Pandora confuses me sometimes. I have no idea what sort of anything is playing at this moment. And though I just woke up mere hours ago and spent the day sitting on my ass with keyboard, I feel sleepy. Perhaps this ordeal is more tiring than I originally thought.

Ah. I see bird. Glad he didn't get out, though I'm sure that wouldn't have mattered much.

I'm lying here on the floor, where you left me - I think I took too much...

What exactly did I want at the beginning of this? It just seems so strange. My stipulation was that there would be no strings attached. So why am I so comfortable with the idea of letting this turn into something? Is that what I wanted all along? Perhaps... Perhaps I should stop analyzing it, and just let it be what it is - whatever that may be. Haha. Me. Not analyze something. Right.

I wonder if I left to spite her. I don't think I did. I do so prefer this. It's a tad bit stressful, but I have good friends and better enemies. And it's not like I'm really alone. Physically anyway. I am so tired. I have no money, and I really do not know where that damn $350 came from, or why my check hasn't gone through yet. I hope when I scan my card for gas it doesn't go through at an inopportune time, getting a fee would not help me situtation.

Situations, situations... I want to watch RENT. I want my friends.

I want to stop feeling so alone.