Move West to California, Become A Centerfold

Such an attention whore.

Such a whore. Look at her, she's terrible. Giving away the only thing she has to call her own, just because it's the only thing she feels like she still has control of.

I can take on this role no problem. I can shift through so many different personas by will. I can make shit up and act like it greatly affects me.

But I still can't figure out who the hell I am, and it shows every time I buy more god damn books about growing up and self discovery.

I am a miserable person. Blah. I just want it to stop.

I want it all to click back into place, I want to have more days like Dorney Park that end with a perfect kiss and happy days like getting into college and figuring everything out and stumbling into money and finding peace.

I want everything. But I guess I really don't deserve it.

What have I ever done to deserve it?