Russian Roulette

Just aint the same without a gun ~

I dont remember if I locked the front door. I hear something moving around upstairs, and it's kind of freaking me out. But it's probably just mom or the dog. So I'm okay. Besides, there's nothing worth stealing in this house anyway.

Im not sure. I feel okay I guess. Im still on a high from last night I think. I keep just smiling, and it feels nice. It's been a while since I've been able to just smile. But amazingly Im alright. More than alright. I feel immensely spectacular, in fact. So today's 6 months. Go figure. And the funny part - I ended up eating at the same resturant I did six months ago. I wonder if I'll go there again in October? Probably, seeing as every six months I have a damn dentist appointment and it's on the way home. Or maybe not, since I'll be going by myself I hope. And I dont like eating alone.

I dont like doing anything alone really, except maybe reading or drawing. I hate the feeling. Immensely.

I also hate dropping the e for words ending in ly. Spectacular for someone who plans to major in english, eh?

All eyes on me in the center of the ring,
Just like a circus
Dont stand there watching me,
Follow me,
Show me what you can do.

She frustrates me so much. But all I can do is wait till I get out of here. And then Ill either find out that she's right or I can shove it in her know-it-all face and do my I Told You So Dance. This whole growing up thing - I dont know if I like it too much.

I wanna stay on this edge I think - before having to be responsible but old enough to do what I want. But tis I life I guess. Gotta get older. Growing up, however, is completely optional.