Im Calling for a Close Up

People are so unreliable. Their memories especially. So who's to say if it's right or wrong to bend them to get ahead a little?

On my drive home today, I realized just how unbalanced this world is. But it's that unbalance that keeps the world balanced,  I think.

Yeah. Because that makes so much sense.

Everyone has secrets. Everyone has problems. I wonder what my secret is? Do I even have one?

Wait, what am I talking about? Of course I have a secret. A recent one, an old one, with plenty I've forgotten and plenty more to come. But just like everything else, the ebb and flow of life pushes and pulls them away.

Eventually, what you thought was important becomes insignifigant. And trivial matters take the highlight of your life. It's all about that balance.

And then you realize just how much someone has done for you. And that you feel no compelling need to repay them. That you feel like you never asked for it, even when you did, and that for some reason you deserve it. But deep down, you know you really don't deserve a thing.

Because you steal, you cheat, you lie, yet every time something good could happen, it happens to you.

Doesn't that mean you have to be doing something right?

Why would life just give you whatever it saw fit, the good things showering down without you even asking, if you didn't do something to deserve it?

What did I do to deserve anything?

How am I ever going to learn to work for anything when everything I've ever wanted has been handed to me, along with everything I've ever needed?

Maybe I won't have to. I never asked to be blessed. I never asked to get away with everything. I never asked for things to somehow always manage to go my way. They just have.

Will I be screwed over if that ever stops?