Breathing Used To Come So Easily

Im not sure why, but my thoughts seem to be in complete disarray. I keep feeling that horrid stinging sensation at the back of my eyes, and I just cant shake this creeping premonition that some great change is about to occur.

Whether it's a good change or a bad one, I'm not exactly sure.

At the very least, I've come to this wonderful conclusion - I have finally learned to wear my heart on my sleeve. Every time I hear him say "I love you" I cherish each syllable, and admitedly, sometimes when I daydream, it's of the simple happiness I feel sitting next to him.

And still, I have to wonder if maybe I'm only kidding myself. That this happiness, this wholeness that I feel, is only temporary. But I can't dwell on thoughts like that, not with so many happy memories to lean on. Not with this overflowing amount of hope that's managed to instill itself within me.

Haha. I'm not sure why I wrote that note. I dont even really remember what it said, to be honest. But I remember him smiling as he read it; whether it was the first or second time he read it, I'm not quite sure, I suspect the first, but the main point is he smiled. I would do anything for that smile.

And that is why I feel content. Because that's the honest truth. I would do anything for him, for his best interest, for his happiness, regardless of the consequences. And I trust that if he knows this, he'll never ask me to do anything that would hurt me or anyone else.

"Love is giving someone the power to break your heart and trusting them not to."

Because like I told Sam, the greatest romance of your life is the one you experience while you are young and filled with hope, passion, dreams - before life makes you too far jaded. That's when you can give your whole self to someone if you so choose. I hope as I get older, I can remember that. I always want to give everything my all - I always want to do and be the very best I can be.

Which is why, no matter the consequence, I've given him all that I am, and hope to share with him all that I become.