A Simple Dream

As we were driving home tonight, nostalgia hit me head on. Talking about futures, what could happen, what will fall into place, what I wish for, what could go wrong...

Someday, whether it may be near or far, Ill be happy and healthy. This life passes us by so quickly, we almost miss it. I have so many distorted memories - our minds are unreliable like that. But no matter what my memories become, no matter how much they change, or even what memories I may fabricate, Ill always remember how they made me feel. Ill remember the chill of my fears, the despair of being abandoned, the passion of falling in love, the thrill of blind hope - all these emotions I will remember perfectly.

And though I know it's senseless, it's stupid, it probably will never happen... But I still have this dream of what my future will bring.

A teacher. I've firmly decided that. I will be an english teacher for high school students, and I will write in my spare time. Im going to marry this boy I've fallen so incredibly in love with, and oh, how happy we'll be. Coming home everyday to a modest house, big enough to be comfy and have some extra space, but not over-extravegant... I'll be home a little bit before him every day, maybe even pick up the kids on my way home... We'll each have our own bedroom, a nice sized kitchen with a tile floor, so it's easy to clean up when I make a mess. I'll learn how to cook too, at least a little bit... A guest room with a nice open window, a study for him, and my mini-library and art room, where I can curl up in the sun and read, or set up a nice area to draw and write or whatever it is I do to express myself... In this perfect little world, we'll have a quiet little flower garden, and a nice sized yard, with a garage nearby... Though hopefully, we'll be someplace that stays relatively warm all year, but I simply love the fall, so it cant be too far south... Out in the suburbs, but near a city, maybe a thirty minute drive or less, so we can see the stars at night... Haha, and of course, my husky and my russian blue, the love of my life, and our children... A bright and happy family, yes, we'll have our disagreements, but hopefully none that ever drive us completely apart...

I wonder, with such an illustrated idea of how I want my life to turn out, if I'll be disapointed when it doesnt happen... I wonder if Ill get my dream, will it make me as happy as it does to just sit and think about it? Am I crazy for looking that far into the future, when Im so young? Should I just be focusing on making myself happy now?

All these things to consider, all these crazy things that could go wrong - but in dreaming, in hoping, I really do not believe Im wishing my life away. I can take the steps to be happy. I've always strived to be unique, and this could be quite possibly the best way to do it - by being genuinely happy with my life.

Seems like a good idea to me, anyway.